10 Self-Care Tips for Young Adults Coping With Grief in NYC
Grieving a loved one can make daily life feel overwhelming. The weight of sadness, intrusive memories, and existential realities can affect everyday functioning. Living in New York City adds unique challenges that may make it even harder to regain a sense of normalcy. Below are ten self-care tips for young adults coping with grief in NYC. Some may resonate with you, while others may not. This list is not exhaustive but offers a starting point.
Find a Grief-Specialized Therapist in NYC
New York has a vast pool of therapists, which can make finding the right one overwhelming. Directories, personal referrals, and online searches provide options, but choosing the right therapist is crucial. Research shows that the relationship between therapist and client is the strongest predictor of success. If you’re new to therapy, consider scheduling free consultations with a few therapists before committing. A grief specialist can provide targeted support, stay updated on the latest research, and recommend a psychiatrist if needed. They can also offer coping mechanisms that align with your unique experiences and personality, ensuring that you receive personalized guidance.
Grief therapy can be a long-term investment in your healing process. It may not feel immediately effective, but over time, it provides a structured space to process emotions, receive support, and develop resilience. Having professional support can make a significant difference in how you navigate loss. Finding someone who has an expertise in your unique and specific needs is key to your healing. In that way, finding a therapist can be similar to dating - not everyone is for everyone.
2. Join a Support Group
Grief can be isolating, and connecting with others who share a similar experience can be profoundly healing. There are a plethora of both in-person and virtual grief support groups, some tailored to specific losses (e.g., losing a parent, partner, or someone to suicide or illness), and many are free or an affordable sliding scale fee. These groups foster connection, help reduce stigma around discussing grief, and may lead to lifelong friendships. They are a valuable complement to individual therapy.
Support groups provide a safe and judgment-free space to express emotions without feeling like a burden. Sometimes, friends and family may not fully understand your pain or may avoid difficult conversations, but a support group consists of people who truly get it. Many people find comfort in listening to others’ stories and sharing their own, realizing they are not alone in their struggles. Finding a group that meets your specific needs can be incredibly validating and healing. I hear many clients say the people they meet in groups are people that become friends for life. If you’re open to the group dynamic, I can certainly provide you with support group referral options to fit your needs.
3. Establish a Mourning Ritual
Different cultures have unique mourning customs, but you don’t need to be religious to create a ritual that honors your loved one. Consider incorporating elements that keep their memory alive—listening to their favorite music on their birthday, cooking their signature dish, or revisiting a place they cherished. Sharing these rituals with others can also help preserve their memory for future generations. These rituals can be tailored to your unique relationship, and don’t have to be complicated or involve many steps if that feels too daunting. These can be established at your own pace and comfort level.
Lighting a candle, keeping a memory journal, or engaging in an activity that was meaningful to them can offer a sense of connection. Grief rituals help create a space for remembrance and processing emotions in a structured way. If you find it comforting, you can involve others in your rituals or keep them private. Over time, these small acts of remembrance may become an integral part of your healing journey, providing a sense of continuity and connection. Perhaps in the future you will want to share these rituals, customs and memories with future partners and family once you’ve established a meaningful narrative.
4. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness and meditation are often recommended but can feel intimidating to some people if they are unfamiliar, especially if you’re caught up in the bustle of living in New York City. The thought of sitting in silence for 15 minutes a day may first feel unrealistic. The goal isn’t to force yourself into uncomfortable stillness, but to acknowledge your emotions instead of avoiding them. Especially when you’re busy with work, socializing and other responsibilities and priorities, it can be hard to dedicate time to simply pausing. Grief can be like a balloon filled with helium—pushing it down repeatedly may work for a while, but inevitably it will resurface. Taking moments to pause, feel, and process emotions is essential. Notice physical sensations in your body, express what you're feeling, and use mindfulness apps if they help. When you pause in silence, perhaps you can physically feel the grief somewhere in your body. Maybe there is a repeated thought that keeps resurfacing that you’ve been avoiding.
Mindfulness doesn’t have to be meditation—it can be as simple as taking slow, deep breaths, grounding yourself in the present moment, or practicing gratitude. Many people access mindfulness by doing yoga, which is an excellent method of exercising both your mind and body, and backed by evidence-based research to be beneficial. Spending time in nature, engaging in creative activities, or simply sitting with your emotions without judgment can also be mindful practices. The key is to make space for your emotions rather than suppressing them, allowing them to be acknowledged and processed in a healthy way.
5. Move Your Body
Exercise isn't just about physical health; it helps process emotions and reduce feelings of being “stuck.” Whether it’s yoga, running, pilates, or a simple walk, movement can help reconnect you with your emotions. You don’t need an intense routine—just find something you enjoy that gets your blood flowing. NYC offers plenty of opportunities for movement, from gyms and exercise classes to simply walking through the city.
Physical movement helps regulate emotions by releasing endorphins, improving sleep, and reducing stress. Even a short walk in a nearby park can shift your mood. Some people find solace in movement-based activities like dance, martial arts, or swimming, as they provide both physical and emotional release. The goal is not to push yourself but to find activities that make you feel good, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. When working with clients, therapists will use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) technique of Behavioral Activation to assess the connection between your weekly activities and associated mood, and together figure out methods of infusing moments of body movement into your schedule to maintain a boosted mood.
6. Keep a Journal
Journaling helps process emotions, preserve memories, and track progress. Writing by hand has been shown to improve memory retention, but digital journaling, simply on your phone or laptop, works too. You don’t need a rigid structure—free writing or using prompts can be helpful. If you’re working with a grief therapist using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), written exercises about thought patterns can reinforce positive thought patterns and provide insight into your emotions over time. Together I can walk you through how to complete these on an app, or I can provide a writing prompt to focus on between sessions if that guidance feels helpful.
Journaling can be as simple as jotting down thoughts, writing letters to your loved one, or documenting daily experiences. It can help untangle complex emotions and provide clarity. Reflecting on past journal entries can also reveal patterns in your grief journey, showing moments of progress and resilience. There’s no right or wrong way to journal—what matters is creating a space for self-expression.
7. Honor Your Needs
Grief is unpredictable, and some days will be harder than others. It's okay to adjust your plans based on how you're feeling. Communicating your needs to friends, family, and colleagues can help set boundaries and reduce stress. Whether it’s taking breaks at work, rescheduling plans, or simply acknowledging your emotions, self-compassion is key. And it’s OK if you don’t know what your needs are ahead of time, they may fluctuate in the moment. This might be new territory for you if you are a planner or have a very scheduled calendar. Your loved ones will understand that you aren’t a robot and shifts arise. This may feel more difficult when it come to honoring your needs at work, a place where emotions aren’t usually welcomed - but together we can figure out how to appropriately and professionally communicate what you deserve.
Allow yourself to experience emotions without judgment. If you need solitude, take it. If you need support, reach out. Learning to recognize your limits and advocate for yourself can help create a sense of stability. Honoring your needs isn’t about avoiding responsibilities—it’s about finding a balance between self-care and daily obligations.
8. Maintain a Routine
When grieving, maintaining a routine can feel daunting, but even small habits can provide stability. Focus on activities that bring you joy or help “future you” feel better—meeting a friend, attending a workout class, or following a skincare routine. Research suggests that engaging in enjoyable activities can improve mood, even when you don’t feel like doing them. Start small and schedule things that make you feel grounded. This is all part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which we can delve into together during grief therapy services.
Routine doesn’t have to be rigid—think of it as a flexible framework. If you’re a morning person, this can look like what you do between waking up and starting work. Or, this can involve ensuring you step outside at least once per day. Maybe you’ve been skipping meals because meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking all feel too much. If certain tasks feel overwhelming, break them down into smaller steps. Even maintaining one or two daily habits can help create structure, normalcy, and emotional stability. Don’t worry, this doesn’t have to look like scheduling every minute of your day.
9. Socialize
Regardless of whether you're an introvert or extrovert, connection is important. You don’t have to be highly social, but avoiding complete isolation is crucial. Try to have at least one honest conversation with a friend where you express how you're truly feeling. They may not always have the perfect response, but letting someone in can be comforting. You can also set boundaries—let them know you don’t need solutions, just support. It might be hard to open up if you’ve had experience with others not knowing the right thing to say, but this may be new territory for your peers.
10. Seek Out Similar Stories
Even if you feel alone in your grief, many have experienced similar loss. Grief is a uniting human experience. Finding relatable stories—through books, podcasts, movies, or personal conversations—can help validate your emotions and provide insight into healing. Hearing how others have coped can offer guidance, inspiration, and a sense of belonging. I can help recommend relatable forms of media for you, so you feel less alone. Other people have a way of putting words to experiences you may not have been able to verbalize yourself, and “naming” an emotion can help you feel more in control of your feelings.
These are just a few self-care tips for young adults grieving in NYC. Even if all don’t resonate, hopefully you find a few that help you feel more grounded. If you'd like to explore these further and tailor them to your needs, reach out today to discuss next steps. I’d be honored to work with you and help you figure out which self-care tips resonate with you during your grieving process.
Begin Healing with Grief Therapy in NYC
As a specialized grief therapist in NYC, I am committed to understanding your unique story and providing compassionate support as you navigate the grieving process. Losing a loved one can feel overwhelming and isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is available, and healing is possible with the right guidance. Begin your healing journey by following these steps:
Schedule your first grief therapy appointment
Discover the positive impact self-care and grief therapy can have on your life.