The Super Bowl and Grief: An Unexpected Connection
After reading that title, you might be wondering: what could the Super Bowl possibly have to do with grief? Grief therapy often explores how significant events, even joyful ones, can stir up feelings of loss. The Super Bowl, America’s biggest football showdown, brings fans together in celebration, competition, and nostalgia. This year’s game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles, held in New Orleans, Louisiana, was no different. But for some, the Super Bowl isn’t just about sports—it’s a reminder of personal loss.
Maybe you're grieving your team’s defeat, or perhaps football season is something you look forward to all year, and now that chapter is closed until fall. But for others, the Super Bowl is tied to something deeper—the loss of a loved one who once shared in the tradition.
The Unexpected Weight of Tradition
Anyone who knows me personally knows I’m not a huge NFL fan. Growing up in Los Angeles when there was no local football team for most of my formative years, and my family gravitated toward watching the Lakers and the Dodgers. However, each year you can bet on me watching the Puppy Bowl, the halftime show, and most importantly—the snacks. Some years, I’ve made my own shrimp cocktail and layered nachos; other times, I’ve opted for delivery. This year, I invited a friend over to watch the game and order from a new local restaurant. Her response took me by surprise.
Last year, she had flown 2,500 miles to watch the Super Bowl with her dad, knowing it would be one of their last memories together. He passed away a month later. The Super Bowl had always been a cherished tradition for their family. This year, she chose to stay home with her husband and dog, as the game now served as a painful reminder that her father was gone. The first anniversary of his passing was approaching, making the event even more emotionally charged.
As a grief therapist, I recognize how deeply ingrained sports can be in family bonds. Whether it’s a generational loyalty to a team, shared experiences of watching games, or playing together in childhood, sports can represent a strong connection to loved ones. Losing someone who was part of these traditions makes their absence even more pronounced when those moments return.
Grief and Unexpected Reminders
My friend isn’t a sports fan, so I hadn’t anticipated her response to my invitation. But, of course, it made perfect sense. The Super Bowl was everywhere—on TV, social media, and the news. Even at work, where many seek refuge from personal struggles, she was confronted with constant reminders. She was involved in a campaign featured during the Super Bowl, a project she had worked tirelessly on. Her father would have been incredibly proud to see her accomplishment, but instead, the game only emphasized his absence.
This isn’t an uncommon experience. Many of my clients share stories of how sports were a deep family connection. Some wish they could go back in time to watch one more game with a lost loved one. Others avoid certain sports because they bring up painful memories. The excitement of a team’s victory can be bittersweet when it’s missing the person who would have celebrated alongside you.
Beyond the Expected Grief Triggers
Certain dates, like birthdays, anniversaries, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, are well-known grief triggers. But some of the most painful moments come unexpectedly—through a commercial, a favorite song, or a game you once watched together. Grief isn’t just about the big, obvious reminders; it’s the small, everyday ones that can be just as powerful.
What Can You Do?
When these unexpected emotional waves hit, try the following:
1. Acknowledge what you’re feeling. Grief can manifest as anxiety, sadness, irritability, or a desire to withdraw. Recognizing and naming these emotions is the first step.
2. Decide what you need. Do you want to be alone, surrounded by loved ones, or engaged in a comforting activity? Honor whatever feels right for you.
3. Communicate your needs. Friends and family may not realize the significance of a particular day or event for you. Let them know what you’re going through, so they can support you in the way you need.
4. Create a new ritual. If watching the Super Bowl brings pain, consider adapting the tradition. Maybe it’s watching the Puppy Bowl instead, gathering with friends for a different activity, or honoring your loved one in a meaningful way.
5. Reach out for support. Whether through specialized grief therapy, a support group, or talking to a trusted friend, sharing your experience can help you process your emotions.
Grief has no set timeline, and reminders will surface in unexpected places. If you’re struggling with how to navigate these emotional triggers, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about ways to honor your memories while finding ways to move forward. Reach out today to discuss what traditions mean the most to you and how to navigate them in a way that feels right for you.
How to Start Grief Therapy in NYC
If you or someone you know is struggling with feelings of grief, support is available. As an experienced grief therapist in NYC, I am passionate about guiding you as you navigate the grieving process. I understand how losing a loved one can feel overwhelming and how big events can turn into unexpected reminders. To start your grief counseling journey, follow these simple steps:
Start finding joy again and create new rituals to honor your needs.