Getting Through Grief in the Winter: Insights from a Grief Counselor in NYC

This year is one of the coldest and snowiest on record in New York City. The streets are blanketed in white, and the sun seems to set before the workday ends. Winter, by its very nature, invites us to slow down, turn inward, and embrace a quieter, more introspective way of being. It’s a season for cozying up under blankets, watching nostalgic movies, drinking warm tea, and spending more time indoors. In yoga philosophy, winter aligns with the qualities of stillness and reflection—a time to restore and conserve energy before the bloom of spring.

In contrast, summer in New York City feels like an entirely different world. Sidewalk cafes overflow with laughter, parks host outdoor yoga classes, and concerts light up the evenings. The season naturally pulls us outward—toward social gatherings, weekend getaways, and impromptu picnics in the park. It’s vibrant, extroverted, and bustling with life.

While winter’s slower pace can be restorative, it can also create conditions ripe for loneliness, isolation, and darker thoughts—especially when grief is already present. The quiet of winter leaves more space for rumination. This is where grief therapy can provide support, helping to navigate the season’s challenges. The lack of sunlight can dampen mood, and the absence of social connection can heighten feelings of loss. It’s not uncommon to wonder: Am I grieving, or am I becoming depressed?

The Overlap Between Depression and Grief

Grief and depression share many common symptoms, which can make it challenging to distinguish between the two. Both can involve:

• Persistent sadness

• Changes in appetite

• Sleep disturbances (too much or too little)

• Fatigue or low energy

• Difficulty concentrating

• Social withdrawal

However, there are key differences. Grief is typically tied to a specific loss—the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or even a significant life change. The sadness in grief often comes in waves, sometimes triggered by reminders of the loss. There can still be moments of joy or relief interspersed with the sadness. Depression, on the other hand, tends to cast a more pervasive shadow, with a persistent low mood that isn’t necessarily linked to a specific event. People experiencing depression often report a sense of emptiness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed. A grief therapist can help distinguish between the two, providing guidance and support in processing loss while identifying when additional mental health care may be needed.

Prolonged Grief vs. Depression

While grief is a natural response to loss, prolonged grief disorder—sometimes called complicated grief—is characterized by intense, persistent mourning that interferes with daily functioning. It’s not just sadness; it’s an inability to move forward, even long after the loss. Meanwhile, depression encompasses a broader range of experiences, from major depressive disorder to seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia).

Diagnoses as a Framework, Not a Definition

Mental health diagnoses are essentially clusters of symptoms that help us understand what’s happening and determine appropriate treatment. While a diagnosis can offer clarity and guide decisions around therapy or medication, it’s important to remember that each person’s experience is unique. Two people with depression might present very differently. One might struggle with oversleeping and low energy, while another might experience insomnia and agitation. Similarly, one person might lose their appetite, while another turns to comfort eating. The value of a diagnosis lies in providing a framework—but ultimately, it’s the individual symptoms that shape the treatment plan.

Ways to Navigate Grief in the Winter

If you’re grappling with grief this winter, there are steps you can take to care for yourself and prevent the season from deepening your pain.

1. Behavioral Activation (CBT Approach): One of the core strategies in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is behavioral activation—the idea that action can precede motivation. When you’re feeling down, it's tempting to withdraw, but engaging in meaningful activities can lift your mood. Start small. Choose one task—making breakfast, calling a friend, or going for a short walk—and build from there.

2. Honor the Season—and Know It’s Temporary: Winter, like grief, is a season—not a permanent state. Even when the days feel endless, the sun is already setting a little later each evening. Reminding yourself that this phase will pass can create a sense of hope.

3. Move Your Body: Exercise doesn’t have to mean braving the cold for an outdoor run. It can be as gentle as stretching in your living room, streaming a yoga class, or dancing to your favorite playlist. If you can tolerate the chill, bundling up for a brisk walk can be surprisingly refreshing.

4. Seek Connection: Isolation can intensify both grief and depression. Reach out to someone you trust—a friend, family member, or therapist. Even a brief conversation can remind you that you're not alone.

5. Create Small Moments of Joy: Light a candle with a calming scent. Make a warm cup of tea. Read a book that offers comfort or inspiration. These small rituals can create pockets of peace amidst the heaviness.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: Grief is hard work, and winter can magnify its weight. Be gentle with yourself. It’s okay if you’re not as productive or social as you are in other seasons.

7. Consider Professional Support: If your sadness feels overwhelming, persistent, or debilitating, reaching out to a mental health professional can make a world of difference. Specialized grief therapy can provide a safe space to process your emotions, and if needed, medication can help address specific symptoms.

Winter may be long, but spring always follows. The same is true for grief—it evolves, softens, and eventually makes room for life to bloom again. Until then, the gentlest acts of care can light the way forward, one day at a time.

Start Healing with Grief Therapy in NYC

As a grief therapist in NYC, I strive to understand your personal journey and offer compassionate support as you move through the grieving process. Grieving can feel heavy and isolating, particularly in the winter months. But you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is available, and healing is possible with the right guidance. Take the first steps toward healing by following these simple steps:

1. Request a free 15-minute consultation

2. Book your initial grief therapy session

3. Experience the benefits of professional grief support in your life.