How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Supports Young Adults During the Grieving Process
If you have explored different therapists' websites or profiles, you have likely come across this term. It has gained popularity over the last few decades and may sometimes seem like a "buzzy" therapy approach. CBT is rooted in decades of research and practical application. But what exactly is CBT, and how can it support young adults navigating the grieving process?
As part of my work in grief therapy, I completed a post-master’s certificate in Advanced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy from NYU. Here I studied not just the theory but also applied CBT techniques in practice. In this post, I will explain the history and core principles of CBT. I will also dispel common myths, and explore how it helps young adults cope with grief.
History of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is one of the most used and researched forms of therapy. CBT is rooted in both cognitive and behavioral psychology. CBT helps individuals understand the connection between their thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. This allows them to develop healthier coping mechanisms.
CBT was developed by merging two types of therapy:
Cognitive therapy (which focuses on thoughts)
Behavioral therapy (which focuses on actions and habits).
Over time, CBT expanded to treat a variety of mental health conditions. These conditions include anxiety, depression, PTSD, and grief. The continued evolution of CBT has led to specialized approaches. This includes trauma-focused CBT and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. These approaches integrate different strategies to address complex emotional experiences.
Aaron Beck: The Founder of CBT
CBT was developed in the 1960s by Dr. Aaron Beck, a psychiatrist and researcher. Initially trained in psychoanalysis, Beck began studying depression. While studying, he noticed a pattern in his patients’ thoughts. He found that individuals with depression often had automatic negative thoughts. These negative thoughts reinforced their low mood and feelings of hopelessness. Beck’s work led to the realization that changing these negative thought patterns could directly influence a person’s emotional state and behaviors. This insight became the foundation for cognitive therapy. It later merged with behavioral techniques to form Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Today, CBT is widely used to treat conditions such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD. It has adapted into many specialized forms to address various mental health concerns.
The Connection Between Thoughts, Behaviors, and Feelings
A core principle of CBT is the interconnectedness of thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. Our thoughts influence how we feel, which in turn impacts our behaviors. This cyclical relationship can either contribute to a positive or negative mental state. For example, consider someone who believes they are incompetent at their job. This negative thought might lead to feelings of anxiety and self-doubt. As a result, they may procrastinate or avoid tasks, reinforcing their negative beliefs. CBT helps individuals break this cycle. This is done by identifying unhelpful thoughts and challenging them. After challenging the unhelpful thoughts, you can replace them with more constructive thoughts.
An Example Highlighting the Connection Between Thoughts, Behaviors, and Feelings
Imagine Sarah, a college student who failed an important exam. She begins to think, “I’m not smart enough for college,” which leads to feelings of sadness and hopelessness. As a result, she withdraws from her friends. She then stops attending classes, which further lowers her self-esteem.
CBT would help Sarah identify her automatic negative thought and challenge its validity. Then replace it with a more balanced perspective. A balanced perspective might be: “I struggled with this exam, but I can improve with more study and support.” This shift in thinking would likely improve her mood. This might encourage her to take proactive steps toward academic success.
Why CBT is Effective and Evidence-Based
CBT is one of the most evidence-based forms of psychotherapy. CBT has extensive research supporting its effectiveness. Studies have shown that CBT can be as effective as medication for depression and anxiety. In some cases, it provides longer-lasting benefits. The structured and goal-oriented nature of CBT makes it a practical treatment approach. It empowers individuals to develop lifelong coping strategies.
Diagnoses and Symptoms That CBT Can Help With
CBT has been successfully used to treat a wide range of mental health conditions. These conditions include:
Depression. Helps individuals recognize and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to low mood.
Anxiety Disorders. Assists in reducing excessive worry. It can also help panic attacks and social anxiety by restructuring irrational thoughts.
Grief. Supports individuals in processing loss and reducing feelings of guilt. CBT also helps with finding meaning after a significant loss.
PTSD. Helps individuals reframe traumatic memories and reduce distressing symptoms.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Aids in managing compulsions and intrusive thoughts.
Dispelling Common Myths About CBT
Despite its widespread use, many misconceptions about CBT persist. Let’s address some of the most common myths:
Myth #1: CBT is Just About Positive Thinking
CBT is not about forcing positivity or ignoring difficult emotions. Instead, it helps individuals develop a more balanced and realistic way of thinking. It focuses on challenging unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with more constructive ones.
Myth #2: CBT Ignores Emotions
CBT emphasizes the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. But it does not dismiss emotions. Instead, it provides strategies to help individuals process and regulate their emotions healthily.
Myth #3: CBT is a Quick Fix
CBT is structured and often shorter-term than other therapies. Some assume it provides instant results. Meaningful change requires effort, practice, and commitment outside of individualized grief therapy sessions.
Myth #4: CBT Works the Same for Everyone
CBT is adaptable to each individual’s unique experiences, challenges, and goals. It is not a one-size-fits-all approach.
Myth #5: CBT Only Focuses on Present Issues
CBT emphasizes current thought patterns and behaviors. It also acknowledges the impact of past experiences on present emotions and responses.
Challenging Cognitive Distortions with CBT
Cognitive distortions are automatic, irrational thought patterns. These thought patterns can negatively impact emotions and behavior. In CBT, recognizing distortions is a key step in breaking unhelpful thinking cycles. This can help individuals begin to foster healthier perspectives. By identifying and challenging distortions like catastrophizing or personalization, individuals can reframe their thoughts in a more balanced way. Challenging distortions can lead to reduced anxiety, depression, and self-criticism. Learning about these patterns helps build self-awareness and resilience. This empowers people to respond to challenges with greater clarity and emotional regulation.
Examples of Common Cognitive Distortions
All-or-Nothing Thinking. Viewing situations in black-and-white terms. “If I fail this test, I am a total failure.”
Catastrophizing. Expecting the worst possible outcome. “If I make a mistake at work, I will get fired.”
Personalization. Taking excessive responsibility for external events. “My friend is in a bad mood; it must be because of something I did.”
Overgeneralization. Drawing broad conclusions from a single event or limited evidence. “I failed this test, so I’m bad at everything.”
Mental Filtering. Focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring the positive. “Even though I got several compliments on my presentation, I stumbled on one word, so it was terrible.”
Discounting the Positive. Rejecting positive experiences or accomplishments as unimportant or unworthy. “They only said I did a good job to be nice.”
Emotional Reasoning. Believing that emotions reflect objective reality. “I feel like a failure, so I must be one.”
Should Statements. Imposing rigid rules on oneself or others, leading to guilt or frustration. “I should always be productive; otherwise, I’m wasting my time.”
Jumping to Conclusions. Making negative assumptions without enough evidence. This includes:
Mind Reading. Assuming you know what others are thinking. “She didn’t say hi to me, so she must be mad at me.”
Fortune Telling. Predicting a negative outcome without proof. “I just know this interview will go badly.”
Labeling. Assigning a fixed and simplistic identity to yourself or others based on one event or trait. “I forgot my appointment—I'm so irresponsible.”
Magnification and Minimization. Exaggerating the importance of negatives while downplaying positives. “My mistake was huge, but my successes don’t really matter.”
CBT helps individuals recognize these distortions and replace them with more balanced thoughts. This process leads to healthier emotional responses and improved decision-making.
Cognitive Restructuring & Other CBT Techniques Used in Grief Therapy
Cognitive Restructuring – This involves identifying unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with more realistic perspectives. For example, changing “I should have done more” to “I did what I could with the knowledge I had at the time.” A therapist might guide a client through exercises that encourage self-compassion and understanding.
Behavioral Activation – Grief often leads to withdrawal from activities that once brought joy. CBT encourages individuals to gradually re-engage in meaningful activities. Meaningful activities might include spending time with loved ones or pursuing hobbies. This method is particularly useful in helping individuals find purpose after loss.
Mindfulness and Acceptance Strategies – While CBT focuses on changing thoughts, modern approaches also integrate mindfulness. Mindfulness helps individuals sit with their emotions rather than avoid them. This can be beneficial in allowing grief to unfold without overwhelming the individual.
Exposure Therapy for Grief Triggers – Some individuals avoid places, songs, or objects associated with their loved one because they bring painful memories. CBT can help clients expose themselves to these triggers in a safe and controlled manner. This approach helps reduce distress over time.
What It’s Like to Work With Me as a CBT-Trained Grief Therapist
I completed my post-master’s certificate at NYU in Advanced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, where I not only learned the theory but also practiced the techniques on myself and my classmates. This hands-on experience helped me understand CBT from both a clinical and personal perspective.
While I have been trained in multiple therapeutic modalities, many of my clients request CBT because it is evidence-based and effective. However, I do not approach CBT in a rigid, short-term framework. Instead, I incorporate aspects of CBT in a way that aligns with each client’s unique needs. My goal as a compassionate grief therapist is to help clients understand their thought patterns, challenge unhelpful beliefs, and develop practical strategies to navigate life’s challenges.
Final Thoughts from a Grief Counselor in NYC
Cognitive Behavior Therapy has revolutionized the field of mental health. It has provided a structured, evidence-based approach to treatment. By focusing on the interplay between thoughts, behaviors, and emotions, CBT empowers individuals to break negative cycles. It also encourages individuals to develop healthier coping strategies. Its effectiveness in treating depression, anxiety, and grief makes it a valuable tool. Through techniques such as cognitive restructuring, behavioral activation, and exposure therapy, CBT continues to help countless individuals navigate life’s challenges. This includes the complex process of grief. Young adults, in particular, can benefit from CBT’s structured approach to understanding and processing their emotions. Ultimately, this helps with fostering resilience and emotional well-being.
For young adults navigating grief, CBT provides a structured and supportive framework to process emotions, challenge self-blame, and re-engage with life. Through techniques like cognitive restructuring, behavioral activation, and mindfulness, CBT offers a path toward resilience and emotional well-being.
If you are struggling with grief, I invite you to explore this approach. Therapy is a collaborative process, and together, we can find strategies that work for you in your healing journey.
Discover Grief Therapy in NYC
As a grief therapist in NYC, I understand that loss can feel overwhelming. Grief is a deeply personal experience, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) offers practical tools to help you process your emotions. With CBT, you can challenge unhelpful thought patterns and regain a sense of balance in your life. If you’re ready to take the first step toward healing, here’s how you can get started:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to explore how CBT can support you.
Book your first grief therapy session to develop individualized coping strategies.
Experience the benefits of CBT for grief.
About the Author: A Compassionate Grief Therapist in New York
Natalie Greenberg, LCSW, is a dedicated grief therapist based in New York City. She specializes in helping young adults navigate the complexities of loss. After experiencing the profound impact of her mother's death by suicide at 23, Natalie found healing through therapy and support groups. This support inspired her to guide others through their unique grief journeys. She earned her Master's in Social Work from New York University and holds a post-master's certificate in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. With over a decade of professional experience, including roles at Bellevue Hospital's Psychiatric Emergency Room, Mount Sinai Hospital's leadership team, and New York University’s Student Health Center, Natalie brings a wealth of knowledge, empathy, and humor to her practice. She currently offers virtual therapy sessions, providing accessible support to clients throughout New York.